My Little GrimmIchi
by Amaya86
Summary: Szayel has been messing around in his lab again. Enlisting Urahara's help he conducts a little experiment involving Grimmjow and Ichigo.


WARNING: This story is complete and utter CRACK!

I blame my muse and _Pony-UnTastic _over on dA for this insanity… at least it was fun to write :) You can find the inspiration behind the fic here:

http: /pony-untastic . deviantart . com/gallery/34397064#/d4febzt (just take out the spaces)

I suggest you go look at the pic before reading the fic, it really is too cute :P

Other than that there are no real warnings but, this being crack, the characters are very OOC.

Bleach and its characters belong to Tite Kubo… obviously! He would never do this to them :D

* * *

Grimmjow groaned as his nerves started rapidly sending impulses to his brain. He was in agony. It was pretty much the only thing he was certain of. He had no idea where he was or how he had ended up wherever 'here' was. Slowly the painful pins and needles sensation subsided and Grimmjow let out the breath he had unconsciously been holding.

With a large amount of justifiable trepidation Grimmjow forced his eyes open only to slam them shut a split second later. _BRIGHT!_ The thought flashed through his still befuddled brain. Everything was excruciatingly bright! Taking a little extra care this time, Grimmjow tried again to open his eyes. Once his eyes were no longer stinging, he swept his gaze across the landscape. He seemed to be lying on his side on grass... very, very green grass, almost too green... and too soft… and it smelled nice? For some reason it annoyed him and Grimmjow growled in frustration.

A lock of his sky blue hair had fallen forwards into his face and he brought his hand up to brush the offending hair out of his equally blue eyes. Grimmjow grunted in pain as his still sluggish brain misjudged the distance to his face and he ended up hitting himself in the face with his hoof.

Wait… what?

With a very undignified yelp Grimmjow jumped to his feet only to topple over onto his other side as he lost his balance. Unfortunately for him there was a rock in the way of his soft landing and he ended up hitting his head against the protruding rock. Dazed and on the verge of panicking Grimmjow lay staring up at a sky that was just as painfully blue as the grass was green. Something was seriously wrong. He tensed as he heard the sounds of someone, or something, approaching. It was a natural reaction. One that was drilled into his very being thanks to years spent in a world where your friends were only your friends until they got the chance to bury their swords, claws or teeth between your shoulder blades.

Tilting his still spinning head back he saw a yellow and orange blur streaking toward him. It took him a few seconds to realise that it was a horse… no, a pony coming at him. The pony had a vibrant orange mane that caught the sunlight streaking down from the cloudless sky. Through the throbbing in his skull Grimmjow couldn't help but muse at the odd familiarity of the approaching figure.

Now aware of his predicament, Grimmjow pushed himself into a sitting position just as the yellow and orange pony reached him. Butterscotch brown eyes met his and the other pony chuckled softly.

"Oh good, you're awake. I just started thinking you might be dead."

Grimmjow's eyes widened in confused recognition as he listened to the other pony talk. Though he'd only heard the voice twice before, he would be able to pick it out even in a crowded room. It was just too surreal to think that this yellow and orange PONY in front of him could be the substitute Shinigami from Karakura.

"Grimmjow, you okay?"

Grimmjow shook his head at the concern in that velvet voice. His confusion was slowly being replaced by anger. Anger was good. It was an emotion he could work with, something he could understand.

"What the fuck is going on Kurosaki?" Grimmjow spat out as he rolled purposefully to his four feet. Once he knew what to expect it was easy really. Years spent in his hollow form taught him how to move on four feet, a skill that was coming back fast. Thoughts murderous, Grimmjow advanced on the now anxious Ichigo.

"Whoa Grimmjow, chill man, I'm just as clueless as you are." Ichigo replied still backing away from the strangely menacing looking blue pony. Losing his balance Ichigo sat down heavily.

"Where the hell are we?" Grimmjow demanded an answer, stopping with his face inches from the substitute Shinigami's.

"Um…" Ichigo stared into Grimmjow's eyes, the blue colour exaggerated by the teal markings underneath. It made the blue pony seem somehow less intimidating.

"I'm just guessing here, but I think we're in the MLP world, that or Urahara's training room." Ichigo answered with a disarming smile.

"What the fuck is MLP?" Grimmjow growled irritated by Ichigo's unperturbed attitude. How could Ichigo be so calm about all this?

"My Little Pony? You know, it's a television story for little girls." Ichigo supplied helpfully still smiling at Grimmjow.

The sixth Espada may have looked adorable and harmless, but his timid look did nothing to dampen the murderous aura surrounding him.

"How the fuck did we end up in a fucking kid's story? And how the hell do you even know what it is?" Grimmjow growled in annoyance tossing his head to the side to try and get his irritating fringe to stay out of his face.

"I have little sisters you jackass!" Ichigo said with a pout. "And I was hoping you knew how we got here. The last thing I remember is going to sleep at my house."

Grimmjow sat down and tried to recall what he had been doing prior to waking up in the fucking twilight zone. His memories were blurry at best but he could vaguely recall seeing something pink and then a sharp stinging sensation in his neck… Szayel! After that everything went black.

"When I get my hands on that pink haired prick I'm going to fucking decapitate him!" Grimmjow spat out as his brain put two and two together and surprisingly got four.

Ichigo was absentmindedly studying several butterflies that were lazily flapping around them when Grimmjow's unexpected outburst brought his attention back to the Espada. "Oh, okay." He said before turning his attention back to the winged bugs.

"Why aren't you more freaked out?" Grimmjow asked in exasperation at the substitute Shinigami's calm response.

xxx

"You do know he's going to kill you when he gets out of there right?"

Szayel, so engrossed in the scene playing out on the big screen, jumped slightly as arms wrapped around his waist and a soft voice whispered in his ear. He suppressed a shiver as the other man's stubble rubbed against his exposed neck and teeth nibbled lightly at the top of his ear.

"That's highly unlikely." He breathed out his reply as the others devilish tongue ran along the outside of his ear. A muted chuckle send warm breath ghosting across his now damp skin and Szayel leant back into the embrace. "They are both pretty much drugged out of their minds. If they do remember anything it will be like remembering a dream." Szayel said smugly.

"Let me guess," Urahara mused as he stepped away from the pink hired Arrancar and walked over to one of the giant monitors mounted on the wall. "You're pumping a sedative into the air to keep them from killing each other?" Urahara watched silently for a few moment as the substitute Shinigami and Espada on the screen had a half hearted argument about where they were and what was going on.

"So why this?" The blond shopkeeper added turning back to study the now blushing Espada. Szayel continued to avoid looking directly at him and Urahara snapped his fan open holding it up to his face to hide his huge grin from his lover. "You've been reading yaoi fanfics on the internet again, haven't you?"

The slight dusting of pink across the scientist's face darkened slightly, the colour now almost the same shade as his bubblegum hair.

"Yeah, well… it's just that in all the stories they somehow end up together and I wanted to see if given the chance if it would really play out like that.

Urahara snapped his fan shut and turned back to the screen where Ichigo was now chasing a bewildered looking Grimmjow around a flower filled meadow. "I see, but why ponies?" Urahara wondered out loud.

"There was this picture…" Szayel continued his explanation but his sentence was cut short as Urahara burst out laughing. "Seriously, Szayel, you're downloading pictures of Grimmjow and Ichigo?"

"Don't give me that shit!" Szayel huffed out in irritation cocking a hip, folding his arms across his chest. "Don't think I haven't seen the collection you have on your external hard drive. I was just browsing dA and stumbled onto it by accident…" Szayel trailed off as another person appeared in the open doorway of the control room.

"Urahara-san, Szayel," The silver haired man greeted the two shocked scientists as he sauntered past them into the room. Acting as if it was the most natural thing in the world for him to be there he sat down in one of the stuffed leather armchairs in the corner of the room and smiled pleasantly at the still dumbfounded men.

"Gin, how the hell did you know where to find me?" Szayel asked at last breaking the silence.

"Oh come now Szayel," Gin opened his ice blue eyes and smirked at the puzzled pink haired Espada. "You didn't think you could drug someone, drag them off to the real world and then expect me not to get curious. I'm just snooping."Gin leant back comfortably in the chair and pointed to the monitor. "So what's happening?"

Szayel and Urahara turned back to study the screens. Grimmjow had clearly gotten tired of getting chased by the orange haired substitute Shinigami and he had somehow turned the tables. Ichigo was giggling uncontrollably as a screaming blue blur chased him around.

The men were so caught up in what was happening on the screen that they didn't notice another person sliding into the room. At the slight, angry pulsing of Reiatsu all three turned, hands automatically going for their swords. Urahara relaxed slightly as he saw who the spiritual pressure belonged to. "Ishida-kun" he greeted the Quince with a pleasant smile. "What brings you to my humble store so late at night?"

Ishida eyed the shopkeeper suspiciously, weapon trained on the men inside the room. "I felt the Reiatsu of Arrancars and tracked it to your store." the teen bit out the reply with barely veiled contempt. "I knew you couldn't be trusted."

"Ah, I see." Urahara said once again peeking over the top of his ever present fan. "You seem to think I'm helping the enemy in some way. Is that why you currently have a weapon pointed at me and my guests?" Urahara asked calmly. The ice in his pointed stare belying the pleasant tone of his voice.

Ishida stared in disgust at the ex Shinigami. "Your friends? So you admit that you're helping them?" Ishida's hands were steady as he eyed the occupants of the room. He was about to call for backup when a somewhat familiar laugh broke his concentration. Glancing at the giant screen behind Urahara, he gasped in shock as his brain finally processed the information.

"Ohia Urahara-san!"

Ishida was still reeling from the ridiculousness of the situation he currently found himself in when another familiar voice called out a greeting from behind him. Seconds later someone collided with him and he barely had time to steady Orihime and prevent them both from toppling over.

"Oh, my apologies Ishida-kun, I didn't know you were going t..." A blushing Orihime started to say when her attention was caught by the other people in the room.

"Orihime-chan" Urahara said with a smile as he stepped around the now fully bewildered Quincy to greet the doe-eyed strawberry blond. "I'm so glad you could make it."

"Arigato Urahara-san" Orihime smiled brightly and held up a suspicious neon pink plastic container. "I brought snacks!" Ishida paled visibly and quickly released Orihime so he could move away from her and her 'snacks'. Orihime, oblivious to Ishida's revulsion, happily skipped into the room.

"What did you bring?" Gin asked eyeing the container with interest. Orihime seeing someone show some interest in her food moved over to Gin and sat down next to him. Popping the lid of the container she pointed out the different snacks. After a few minutes Gin started looking a bit green.

Urahara, having walked over to the door to close it, let out an exasperated sigh as a slight black haired Arrancar slipped through the half closed door. Ulquiorra nodded a silent greeting and promptly moved to the back of the room where he had a clear view of everyone.

Szayel glared at the green eyed cuatro Espada. Ulquiorra was pretty much ignoring everyone. "What the hell are you doing here Ulquiorra?" He finally demanded when it looked like the apathetic Arrancar was not going to give an explanation for his sudden appearance.

"Aizen-sama wanted to know what all the commotion was about. So, as he is currently unable to attend he asked me to record it for him." Ulquiorra replied in his usual toneless voice.

Gin, grateful for the distraction, grinned extra wide before addressing the stoic man. "And what is our fearless leader up to today that makes him unable to attend this festive gathering?"

"He has an extended session with his therapist today. They are discussing his relationship with his mother." Ulquiorra supplied, the one corner of his mouth twitching ever so slightly.

Before anyone could comment however a high pitched giggle coming from the large monitors on the wall reminded everyone that there was in fact a reason they were gathered there in the first place. Everyone made themselves relatively comfortable, considering the company, and for a few minutes everyone was silent as they watched the two ponies on the screen.

As another over exuberant giggle from the orange haired pony tore through the quite room Urahara turned to Szayel with a worried expression. "Um Szayel, what's going on with Ichigo?"

Szayel cleared his throat nervously before answering. "Well, you see… the sedative I'm using was originally designed for use on high level hollows and Arrancars so I'm guessing it's having an exaggerated effect on Ichigo's Shinigami Reiatsu.

xxx

Grimmjow tilted his head to the side as he studied Ichigo. Said pony was currently rolling around in a field of flowers giggling like a girl. "What are you doing?" He asked after a few moments.

Ichigo turned to him for a few seconds, brown eyes bright and slightly dazed before his attention was once again diverted. Grimmjow knew he was not necessarily a genius, but he sure as hell wasn't an idiot. There was something seriously wrong with the kid. "Yo Shinigami, hold up for a second." Grimmjow tried again to get Ichigo's attention. Ichigo seemed not to notice him and continued to roll around in the fragment flowers.

"It's like rolling on babies, Grimmjow!" The drugged Shinigami quipped as another giggle tore from his throat.

"What?" Grimmjow asked looking slightly worried.

"Yeah, you know, babies!" Ichigo stated solemnly rolling himself into a sitting position. "They smell really nice, like flowers and baby powder and stuff." Grimmjow watched the emotions flickering across the expressive brown eyes that were locked on his. It made him strangely uncomfortable.

"You know they're drugging us right?" He asked in an attempt to change the subject.

"Yeah, I figured." Ichigo replied falling back into the now crushed flowers. "I'm just enjoying not having to worry about something trying to kill me." He added softly.

Unsure how to respond to the unexpected confession, but feeling he had to say something Grimmjow started to open his mouth when his attention was caught by a large shadow falling over them. Looking up he frowned at the dark clouds rolling across the sky.

"Hey Shinigami, looks like it's going to rain," Grimmjow said getting to his feet. He looked down expectantly at Ichigo still lying on the floor. "Get up baka, you're going to get wet." He ordered as he started to walk away. Reluctantly Ichigo got to his feet and followed him.

"My hollow says it rains when I'm sad" Ichigo supplied for no reason. Grimmjow glanced over his shoulders at the substitute Shinigami. He was slightly troubled with Ichigo's sudden change in emotion but there was no time to worry about it now. As thunder crashed overhead a light drizzle started, making Grimmjow picked up the pace. He distinctly remembered seeing some kind of building, maybe a cottage or something, on their mad dash through the meadow. Hopefully they could reach it before they got soaked.

xxx

"Well," Szayel says turning away from the controls to face the strange mix of people crowded into the small room. "The show's almost over."

"What? Why?" Orihime asks looking up from where she's still sitting next to a now ill looking Gin.

"The rain has been altered to knock them unconscious so we can safely move them back to their respective worlds." The pink haired Espada explained patiently as he quickly pressed a few more seemingly random keys.

"Urahara and I will stay behind and collect all the remaining data. I hope you all enjoyed the show, short as it was."

Ishida, still looking distrustful, slowly got to his feet. With a tight nod at the rest of the room's occupants he motioned to Orihime that she should follow him out of the shop.

"Thank you Urahara-san" the red head said brightly as she moved to follow Ishida. "See you next time."

Gin unfolded himself from the chair where he had been sitting. "Goodbye Urahara, Szayel. I'll be most interested to hear what the two of you concluded when you get back, Szayel." The ex Shinigami pleasantly addressed the two scientists.

As Gin made his way to the door Ulquiorra pushed away from the wall. "I am sure Aizen-sama will also be curious to learn what you discover Szayel." The stoic man addressed his fellow Arrancar before he disappeared through the open door.

There was a small ripple in the Reiatsu levels as a gargantua was opened to allow for the Espada and ex-Shinigami's return to Hueco Mundo.

"Ah, alone at last." Urahara said presently as he slid up behind Szayel. Wrapping his arms around the other man he rested his chin on Szayel's shoulder so he could also see the monitor. "What happens now?"

"Well, unless there are any more surprises, we simply wait." Szayel replied leaning back into the comforting heat of the shop keeper.

"How much time do we have?" Urahara whispered, his voice dropping low. Szayel closed his eyes and smiled at the suggestive implications behind the question.

"Not nearly enough, so pay attention." Szayel admonished the other.

Uttering a long suffering sigh Urahara reluctantly turned his attention to the monitor, the sight making him instinctively reach for his fan. "Well, that's unexpected" he mused, a hint of amusement in his tone.

xxx

Grimmjow gratefully slammed the door shut just as the heavens opened to shower the earth with fat rain drops. The temperature had dropped dramatically with the now miserable weather and Grimmjow shook himself violently to get rid of the drops clinging to his body. Ichigo didn't look any better. The Shinigami was frowning heatedly at the floor, almost as if he blamed it for his cold and wet state.

Grimmjow moved deeper into the room inspecting the interior. The only furniture in the room was an ancient looking sofa facing away from the door. Curiosity piqued, Grimmjow walked closer and peeked over the back. Grinning to himself he walked around the sofa to the stone fireplace built into the wall. Logs were already neatly laid out in the hearth and it took him a matter of minutes to light the fire. Grimmjow collapsed gratefully onto the soft sofa, the cushions moulding easily around his body. Craning his neck Grimmjow looked around only to find that Ichigo had slowly made his way towards the now merry little fire. The substitute Shinigami looked like a half drowned kitten and for some reason it made him feel like crap.

Before Grimmjow could make a snarky remark about the other's appearance, Ichigo lowered himself down on to the other end of the couch. Grimmjow wearily watched the shivering pony out of the corner of his eye. Ichigo turned to look at him, thoughtful nutmeg brown eyes studying him intently. Without a word Ichigo inched closer to him, Grimmjow arched a brow in curiosity but remained silent. When it looked like Grimmjow wasn't going to yell at him, Ichigo slid over to the other pony and curled up next to him. Grimmjow stared down at Ichigo in shock. He wasn't sure what to do. It freaked him out a bit to have the kid in his personal space. It went against every instinct that countless years in the wastelands of Hueco Mundo drilled into him.

And yet, Ichigo was still struggling to get the violent shivers that wreaked his body under control. It made Grimmjow strangely reluctant to push the other pony away from him… and it felt kind of pleasant with Ichigo's weight pressing him further into the comfy cushions. Grimmjow sighed as a sudden sluggishness washed over him. The heat from the fire was slowly seeping into the room and he could feel his eyes getting heavier.

"You smell good" Ichigo murmured snuggling closed to the Espada. Grimmjow's eyes snapped open in annoyance. The offhand comment was the last straw, Grimmjow Jeagerjaques did not cuddle! He tried to shove the substitute Shinigami away from him, but his actions had the opposite effect and Ichigo just clung to him more tightly whining in protest.

"Let go!" Grimmjow growled out once again struggling to get Ichigo off of him.

"No! You feel nice." Ichigo replied stubbornly further tightening his hold on the reluctant Espada.

"Oh fine then!" Grimmjow huffed. There really was no point in starting a fight. He was warm and comfortable and so tired. Closing his eyes Grimmjow easily drifted off to sleep with the sound of Ichigo's even breathing against his neck.

xxx

It was much later when Ichigo awoke with a start. Sitting up he looked around with bleary eyes, taking in his surroundings. He was in his own bed and for a second it confused him. It felt like there was something that he was forgetting but he couldn't for the life of him remember what it could be. Shrugging he lay back down and went back to sleep.

xxx

Grimmjow stormed through the halls of Las Noches. He was feeling murderous and the only way he could think of to calm down again was to confront the arrogant pink haired scientist. It took him about two seconds after he woke up to remember everything that had happened. The knowledge that Szayel had used him in one of his sick little experiments pissed him off and he was determined to get revenge.

Barging into the laboratory Grimmjow immediately spotted the eighth Espada. Szayel looked up from his microscope, annoyed at the unexpected interruption. When he saw who was in the room a huge grin spread across his face.

"Grimmjow." The scientist said pleasantly as he straightened. "I was wondering when you were going to show up here."

"What the fuck Szayel!" Grimmjow growled out menacingly as he stalked towards the other man, fully intent on hurting him in some way.

"Relax Grimmjow. I've actually done you a huge favour." Szayel said primly holding up a hand to slow the other's approach. When Grimmjow halted and gave him an incredulous look he continued his explanation. "Humans get attached quicker than us so your little encounter with the substitute Shinigami is sure to make him hesitate the next time you fight. He will be so busy remember a dream he had about you that it will give you a much needed edge."

Grimmjow took a few moments to digest the information, a large blood thirsty grin appearing on his face. With determination Grimmjow suppressed the twinge in his chest at the thought of harming the orange haired youth. He was an Espada, a killing machine who lived for the thrill of the fight and proving he is the best, and if Ichigo stood in his way he would not hesitate to cut him down.

Yes, his next fight with Ichigo would be an interesting one…

xxx The End xxx

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There :)

I hope it was at least readable. Once again, thanks to _Strangeindividual_ and my mom for checking this.

Oh yeah, this is a one shot… there will be no follow up. After this the anime goes back to canon and everything happens the way it's supposed to. Think of this as one of those weird fillers they randomly put in.


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